Postgraduate venture can be a lonely road

We are relational beings and our studies can sometimes take that relational aspect away from us.
A certain Dr in my department once warned his students that “being a postgraduate student is a very lonely place to be”, for some reason, I thought he must be out of his mind. This is more reason to celebrate not having to be in classes at a certain time, no assignments and tutorials. Heck! I anticipated that it would be heavenly working in solitude. Numerous times we are advised to take time out and be on our own because we exist in a busy and a very loud world as human beings. Of course by now we have learned that life is only perfected when we exist betwixt the contradictions, the opposites, so loudness has to be counteracted with quietness, distance with closeness etc however that balance is hard to keep.
I was convinced that loneliness was going to be exactly what I needed. But nothing prepared me for the real loneliness, where I had to face the nothingness, living only in my mind. I made time for friends but I wasn’t the same everything was always time controlled, anxiety and depression kicked in, and for some odd reason I had lost my balance. Life was dull not only that but I became more unproductive and wasted so much time keeping to my discipline.
See the problem was, I was not even aware that I was fading away to antisocialism until I was deep in it. With the help of google, I diagnosed myself using the symptoms I was already experiencing and discovered that I was so right deep in it “stressed” because I had cut myself away from being relational. But eventually when I snapped out of it I knew I had to change the way things were going. First I had to admit that it was lonely, I did not have conversation partners to discuss my thesis with, I saw my friends once in a lifetime only when I felt there was time, well, the love department was the worst. The journey of seeking information can pull you in so deep that you can easily lose your flow, and more especially feel yourself slipping away from what makes you real and human.
So after having gone through this experience, I could better advice my fellow postgrads to make time for fun, you need it to stay in touch with life n everything around you. Make time for love, love is the closest thing to God and it nurtures ours souls, make time for friends, because friends serve as motivation and inspiration they breathe life back into us when we are low, lastly make time for brainstorming with great minds who are willing to engage you and challenge your topic so that you cover the blind spots in your research project

This entry was posted in General. Bookmark the permalink.